Adoption often becomes difficult for single adults and even less likely for unmarried men due to problematic stereotypes surrounding them and their ability to raise children without the presence of a motherly figure.
This obstacle, however, didn’t stop 35-year-old Ben Carpenter from West Yorkshire, UK to adopt five disabled children. His family might not be a very conventional one, but Carpenter says he wouldn’t rule out adopting even more children in the future.
A post shared by Polimer News (@polimernews)
The full-time-father has five children under his care at the moment: Noah, one, is the youngest of the bunch and has a genetic condition called Cornelia de Lange syndrome; Joseph, who is three years old, has Down’s Syndrome; Lily, 6, is deaf and her sister Ruby, 8, has Pierre Robin Syndrome along with limited use of her arms due to missing bones since birth. Lastly Jack, who is 11 years old and the oldest of the siblings, has autism.
Mr Carpenter recently spoke to the Daily Mail about his unique family.
“Noah is great and has fit into our family just perfectly and, to be honest, it’s like [he’s] always been there!” He said when talking about the most recent member of the family. “His new brothers and sisters are great with him, Lily in particular is extremely maternal and helps me feed Noah and things.”
Carpenter said when he first saw a picture of Noah, he instantly ‘fell in love’.
“I was flicking through an adoption magazine that comes from monthly featuring children who are deemed as ‘hard to place’ children, when I came across this picture of a little baby by quite clearly had severe complex needs. I thought to myself this little boy needs to join our family where he can be part of something special, but more importantly someone who can accept him and his disability. I instantly fell in love with him what with his mass of brown hair and his beautiful blue eyes I knew instantly I wanted him to be my son.”
The father-of-five explained that at the age of 21 he worked at a residential school for people with disabilities, which gave him the experience he requires to be able to look after his children.
“Even at the age of 21 I knew I wanted to be a father as soon as possible – I may have only been young but I’ve always had an old head on my shoulders. I was convinced with me being single as well that they wouldn’t take me seriously – but I was over the moon when they did. Due to previously working with disabled adults and children, I knew it was only right for me to adopt a disabled child because I knew I’d be able to care for them properly.”
The idea of adoption first came to him when he saw an advert from the local adoption of social services searching for potential adoptive parents.
“[…]I thought, well, they’re not going to want me as a single guy,” Carpenter shared. “But I told them who I was and where I worked and they were really positive and quite enthusiastic about me adopting a child.
Although the 35-year-old always knew he wanted to be a father, he never cared for having biological children. He explains that there is much more to a parents relationship with their children than just a ‘biological link’.
“My children are my children – for example, they have the same mannerisms as me. Yes, they might not have the same blood as me, but who cares! Nine years on, I have five children and I wouldn’t change a thing.”
What do you think of the Carpenter family? Do you know of any similar families? Let us know in the comments – and make sure you pass this along to your friends and family!